Posted by: LucidMystery | April 5, 2009

The Facts of Life

Well, I’d like to think of myself as a scientist, and what do we scientists do? We observe the world around us! So, for my own amusement, I have been making observations of what I consider to be the facts of life.

  • The waitress won’t check on your table until your mouth is full of chewy steak.
  • You won’t realize you have to go to the bathroom until you see a sign that says “Next Reststop 146 Miles.”
  • Your washer works fine when the Maytag guy comes to look at it.
  • Music will affect your mood as much as anything else in the world.
  • Saran wrap will stick to everything but the plate of leftovers.
  • Cheesecake tastes better when you’re on a diet.
  • Change isn’t always easy (actually, it’s usually pretty rough), but you always gain something from it.
  • The phone won’t ring until after you go to bed.
  • Experts tell you that travel by air is safest, but the first thing the flight attendants do is prepare you for a crash.
  • The first moment of laughing through tears feels like dropping a heavy load from your shoulders.
  • You will only have black underwear clean the day you only have white pants clean.
  • Running through a wide open field of wild flowers really is as magic as it seems in the movies.
  • Ice cream will always cure what ails you.
  • Wal-Mart is the root of all evil.
  • Androgeny exists, but gender roles persist.
  • If you are ever in a dark, creepy house and a madman killer in a hockey mask is chasing you, don’t run into the dark, creepy woods behind the house.
  • That hot guy/girl will be ten times more attractive once you realize he/she is already taken.
  • Life is contstantly undergoing revision. This could all be wrong tomorrow!
Advertisements

Responses

  1. I think that this is hilarious. Keep it up.

    Like

  2. Starbucks is the root of all evil too.

    Like


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: