Posted by: LucidMystery | January 18, 2009

Potterheads Anonymous

I know the Harry Potter books were written for kids or that kids/young teen bracket. They’re full of magic and fantasy, centaurs and mermaids, and let’s not forget witches and wizards! But still, I know a lot of young adults/older teens like the books, too, which makes me feel a little less alone in adoration of the series. Now mind you, I wasn’t always a fan. My younger sister was first, and I said I thought they were stupid–not that I had actually read them, but just on the principle that I didn’t like anything my sister did. On the other hand, even when I was going through my anti-Potter phase never went along with anti-Potter fanatics who claimed the books were a lure to Satan (to quote a comedian, nothing brings people to the church’s door like a good ol fashioned book burning!) I mean c’mon, Harry Potter is bad cuz he’s a wizard and taught to use magic? Sooo…LOTR was preached and pushed in churches, did everyone think Gandalf just *magically* knew how to do all his cool tricks? Ok, that argument disppelled (hehe SPELL!) So I eventually came to reading the Harry Potter books of my own accord…and I then became a Potterhead, that most utmost of fans.

Just to be clear, even if I am a huge fan, I don’t actually play quidditch, though I’ve I heard of several legit colleges (ie, Princeton University) who have their own quidditch leagues. And I also don’t regulary advertise my muggle status or wonder if somehow on my 11th birthday, my owl died on the way to sending me my letter. No, I’m not that weird. But I still have my moments, which prompted me to create this list of signs for when you know you love Harry Potter too much:

  • You see a random person walking down the street, and you get excited because that person fits the image you created of a character in your mind. For example: “OMG, it’s James Potter!”
  • You find yourself just out of reach of something on the top shelf, and you have to stop yourself from calling Accio cereal.
  • You wish you had been raised at the Burrow.
  • You get more excited reading the details of the Quidditch World Cup than you do watching the Super Bowl (unless we’re strictly talking about the commercials.)
  • You would gladly trade even your favorite class’s homework for a little Transfiguration practice.
  • You tend to imagine Celestina Warbeck as sounding something like Celine Dion.
  • You know that Fred and George were born on an April Fool’s Day.
  • You were offended that Peeves never made it into any of the movies.
  • You punch the air and exclaim “I knew he could do it!” when you read about Neville’s accomplishments in the 7th book.
  • And by the way, you sobbed in 6 different places in the 7th book.
  • Or you cried through the last 50 pages of the 6th book.
  • Whenever a Harry Potter book/movie comes out, you clear your scheduleto allow you either enough time to read the book in one sitting (approximately 12 hours) or go to midnight showing of the movie.
  • You don’t see anything wrong with a lime green bowler hat, though you get quite indignant at the man who wears it.
  • You wish Kingsley Shacklebolt would run for president.
  • Weasley’s Wizards Wheezes sounds like the coolest store ever.
  • You’ve wondered what your wand would be made out of and how long it would be (ie, mine would be made of willow with a unicorn hair core and would be 12 1/2 inches long.)
  • You understand that code names given to each person speaking on Potterwatch and applaud JK Rowling for cryptic skills (ie, Lee Jordan=River –> the Jordan River; Remus Lupin=Romulus–>the Roman mythic twin boys Remus and Romulus who were raised by wolves; etc.)
  • You freaked out in the 6th book after discovering the locket was a fake because you remembered in the fifth book where there was a mention of a heavy gold locket that no one could open.
  • You really want to figure out what butterbeer tastes like.
  • You have spent at least a few minutes time wondering whether pumpkin juice is a Harry Potter thing or a British thing.
  • You wish you had a house elf every time you do the dishes
  • You wonder if Harry Potter really is a historical account of things that have actually happened, but your memory was obliviated at some point in time.
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