Posted by: LucidMystery | November 25, 2008

The Cardboard Legolas

One of the things I love about being back home is that I can sleep in my old room. Though I haven’t lived at home full time in over 4 years now, I refuse to let Mom and Dad do anything to my old room because I like knowing it’s there, just the way I left and still brimming with memories. It’s the only room in the house decorated in only my taste (ie, it’s a bit chaotic), but it still feels magical. The walls are covered with posters of movies and singers, newspaper clippings, glow-in-the-dark plastic flowers, a 2×3 ft periodic table of elements, a list of Ohio’s endangered species, pictures from all my old dance recitals, various signs that say everything from “Beware the Dog” to “Danger: Demolition Site.” Shelves reach high above most people’s arm reach and hold all my old favorite stuffed animals and dolls while hanging down the edges are paper lanterns, my name tags from different events, dream catchers, and the pink monkey that makes odd noises when poked. Even from my ceiling I have the occasional floating object, namely a porcelain doll who sits on a swing and a blue glass light-catcher with a dragon fly on it.

I have to say, though, the piece de resistance of my room is the life-size cardboard standup of Legolas from Lord of the Rings. Nowadays, he wears a lei and a hat from the zoo where I used to work, and he sits a little off in a corner. He has to be relatively out of the way, though; if I wake up in the night and see him, 6 years of ownership haven’t stopped the panic-induced adrenaline rush I get from momentarily thinking there’s a person standing in my room.

How did said cardboard Legolas come into my possession? Well, back during high school, when LOTR was all the rage, at least for geeks like me, and the blue-eyed elf was a focal point of teenage love. Orlando Bloom made a darn hot Mirkwood prince, and one of my friends at the time thought it would be hilarious if I had a life-size Middle Earthling present at all times. So she got him for me one Christmas. I remember squealing to the high heaven when I saw it, and I immediately gave him a prominent location in my room. Well, the location changed after three consecuative nights of waking up and freaking out, but now that he is out of Sleepy Maria’s direct line of view, it’s all good.

I kind of feel sorry for the Legolas. If you look at his face for a moment, you’ll notice that his mouth area is a little wonky. That comes from sleepovers full of girls who all liberally applied lip gloss before giving my cardboard Legolas a good, solid kiss. Though I’ve tried cleaning him in the past, I think his lips are permanently discolored. I also kind of regret that his line of accessories has varied between leis of different colors, Mardi Gras beads, and one necklace with beads made of plastic monkeys and bananas, not to mention his job as a hat rack. I suppose I could say he is merely keeping up with the changing seasons, but I don’t know what Orlando Bloom would say.

Well, I’m off to bed! Tis a late night, and I’m eager to fall asleep as the life-size image of a fictional character gazes pensively at me from under the brim of hat covered in elephant and antelope embroidery.

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