Posted by: LucidMystery | November 10, 2008

Only Prince Charming Need Apply


I’m still debating whether this post should be kept private or not…I have no problems with all my ladies seeing it, but I don’t know how all the males out there would take it. On second thought…I’m pretty sure there aren’t any male readers (at least that I know personally) sooooo I’ll keep it public to save on having to send out a mass e-mailing of a password only to forget someone. I’m scatter-brained, I know I would!

Anyhow, as the title implies, this post is all about Prince Charming. Maybe not the Prince Charming, but certainly my Prince Charming. Subtle, but important difference. Although I will harbor no qualms if Prince Harry or Prince Carl Philip attempt to fit into my high standards, one certainly does not have to be of royal blood to win this fair lady’s hand. You just have to be pretty rockin awesome.

Now, this bit coming up next might scare whatever random male that has stumbled across this blog; however, for you ladies out there, keeping a list of what you want in a guy is an A-ok, plan. You need to keep your standards high. Girls, we’re worth it. God called His daughters good and beautiful, and since we are considered “adopted” daughters, well then, someone good and beautiful deserves a worthy partner. The following are the list of traits and characteristics I find essential/attractive in a guy. The higher up the list, the more important the item is to me. The top several traits are must haves. But below those must-haves is where I am adding things that I know I like, but I don’t need. Important distinction. For example, I love it when a guy can play guitar, but if the dude is musically challenged (as am I), it’s not fair to discount him for that. So, here is my list of what I need in a…ahem…man.

  • Christian–this is a must. I’m not being judgmental or discriminatory. Trust me, this is for his good as much as for mine. There is precious little I can think of that would make me sway from my beliefs, and that could be very frustrating for someone who doesn’t share them. But for my personal needs, I want a man who is even more in love with God than he is with me. I need him to be able to to rely on God’s strength when we are both weak. I want us to be able to hold each other accountable, help fuel each others fire when we’re burning low, and live life pursuing Him together.
  • Passionate–nothing turns me off as much as someone who is ho-hum about everything. Now I’m not saying my guy needs to jump with a brilliant passion at every detail (“There’s a sale on tube socks, honey! Let’s go!!”) but he does need to get fired up about something. Preferably something I’m interested, and hopefully, he’s passionate about me 😉
  • Tall–ok, ok, yes, this is completely superficial and probably very unfair. But I have a complex. I’ve learned to be ok with and even kind of like the fact that I’m 6 feet tall, but let me have an anti-feminist moment and say that I need to feel that he’s stronger than me (even if that’s not the case), but if he’s taller then I’ll go with it. I just need to be the shorter one, hands down. Oh, and I’m sorry but he needs to be at least 6’1” to allow for shrinkage. (My dad went from 6’0 to 5’11”. Yes, I’m taller than my dad.)
  • Motivated–Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean he needs to have self-actualized already, but I want him to have a goal in life. Now it can be abstract; it doesn’t have to be the stereotypical desire to be a lawyer, doctor, movie star, whatever, but he needs to have something in mind that he wants out of life. His goal could be just to serve God (now, hopefully that is all of our goals, but he might not have anything besides that). If that’s the case, though, I still want him to be working towards something. I’m a relatively driven person myself, and we’d probably mesh best if he is too.
  • Playful–Though I do want him to be motivated, life isn’t all about work! Yoa have to play a little 🙂 Young at heart is the way to be, that way neither of us will ever really grow old.
  • Affectionate–plain and simple, I want to know I’m loved 🙂 This includes words of affirmation (my love language) and cuddling.
  • Understands me–I come with baggage. Who doesn’t? Mine isn’t that big of a deal, but it exists. Whenever I meet that someone, I will do my utmost to understand his past, and I hope he will do the same for me.
  • Has a vivid imagination–I love adventures, and if one isn’t going on, I will make it up. I need to be able to trust that him with those things that are the utmost personal to me…my writing about those adventures, or just my writing in general. So far, very few people have ever gotten to that level of my most inner circle that I will trust to see the occasional poem or story (except those for classes, obviously), but no one has ever made it to where I will let them read everything, not even my mom. The person I will trust to read my flights of fancy must have an equally active imagination to be able to enjoy what I’ve penned.
  • Looks at me as an equal–I don’t want a guy who will end up whipped, but I never want to be just the little wifey. I can be Biblically submissive, but not inferior. I may be ditzy and goofy at times, but even if I somehow end up with a Mensa genius, he still needs to acknowledge that I’m intelligent and knowledgeable in my field. Sure, he might know more than me in some/many areas and I can’t spell to save my life, but I can guarantee that whoever he is, I can top him in something, be it the effects of invasive macrophytes on the ontogenetic diet shift of freshwater emydids…the genetic diversity of raptors in the eastern U.S…or the history of Narnia 😉
  • Likes animals–yeeeaahhh, this is actually kind of a must too. Dogs/turtles/eagles/gorillas/duck-bill platypi, I’m really not picky. Animals are kind of my thing (hence graduate school for biology), and if he doesn’t like them, there’s gonna be problems
  • Loves the outdoors–maybe this is a must too. I spend a lot of time outside in nature, and I really enjoy it. He doesn’t need to the Cabella’s Man of the Year or anything like that, but somebody who likes to go hiking or to the beach. But mind you, when I say go to the beach, I don’t mean to lay on the sand and read a book. I have to be in the water, even if that means getting stung by jellyfish and stepping on sand dollars. But no sharks, I can draw the line there.
  • Funny–I love to laugh. It’s an essential part of my day, and if I’m about go to bed at night realizing I haven’t laughed since yesterday (ugh, I hate those days), I’ll youtube Dane Cook or Demetri Martin before going to sleep. Judging from that, I think he needs to be able to make me laugh.
  • Nerdy/Dorky/Geeky–either of these three will do. I’m a cool dork all by myself (note the use of “cool,” I’m a cool dork, thank you very much), and life will probably be easier on him if we are on the same wavelength or there is the distinct possibility that I will end up annoying him if I start describing the effects of mosquitos’ anti-coagulation factors on the immune response as he scratches at a bug bite.
  • Traveller–I want to see the world, and I love road trips. Hope he doesn’t mind packing up, jumping in a car/plane and traveling as often (and economically) as possible!
  • Will watch chick flicks–I love those terribly predictable, corny, and impossible romantic comedies. He doesn’t have to love them, but at least understand that I watch them frequently.
  • Romantic–maybe I’ve watched one too many of those chick flicks, but I’ve become a hopeless romantic myself, and I’d love it if he were the kind of guy to randomly surprise me with a picnic, flowers, sunset viewing, etc.
  • Enjoys dancing–dancing is so much fun! ‘Tis a good thing; and hopefully he agrees.
  • Musical–ok, this is definitely a preference but not a must. If he can play the piano/guitar/ukulele while singing, bonus points; if not, he might still make the cut.

Alright, let’s cheese it up and ruin any ideas anyone might have of me being a self-sufficient, independent woman (which by all other accounts I am). But any guy who wants to win me over needs to be my knight, my prince, my hero who bursts in to save the day. Climb the tallest tower, slay my dragons, rescue me from the witch. I need to be swept off my feet and left speechless, or to quote Benedick, I’ll none!

Any of you Spartans left standing? I thought not 😉


  1. I’m going to go all sappy and romantic on you for a moment, but you’ve heard me in all of the ups and downs of my relationship anyway, so…
    You might be surprised at what God hands to you. My relationship with Daniel has not always been easy, but he fits The List that I have, even the things I was willing to compromise on, like “good at sports” or (yes, I’m ashamed to admit that I was this superficial) “has beautiful brown eyes” God even provided me with a man that has qualities that I didn’t even think about, like the ability to help me see my own shortcomings without rubbing them in or pointing them out himself.

    This is all to say, that you should keep your hopes high. There probably is a Spartan left standing. I mean, there are billions of men in the world, and you only need one, right? (you’d better only need one!)


  2. Actually, I believe there are some communes out there where it’s one wife and a bagillion husbands. Yes please! I’ll take Ben Barnes, William Moseley, Orlando Bloom, that dude from “House,” McDreamy, McSteamy, and Mel Gibson circa 1983.



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