Posted by: LucidMystery | January 6, 2008

Just Blathering

Is this my fourth blog already? My my my, how the days have flown by. You know I must say, I did not realize how addicting this blogging stuff would be. I thought I would write one little page, maybe two, and then forget all about it. Now granted, this still is only my fourth blog. Give me another two weeks, especially once school has started back up, and that might be a completely different story.

I think what I am enjoying about blogging, though, is just the fact that I am writing again. When I was first applying to Otterbein, I had a horrendously difficult time choosing between an English major with a minor in Life Science and my selection of majoring in Life Science with a minor in English. My decision actually surprised a number of people, including writing teachers I’d had at my homeschool groups. That’s not to say I was a great writer by any stretch of the imagination and they all thought I’d be the next Jane Austen, but I genuinely enjoyed penning fanciful adventures and no one thought I could stop living in my bubble-land. (Well, they were right about the bubble-land part, but I use far too many parentheses to ever be a real writer! I write the way I think, tangents and all.)

Now granted, I have always been a nerd. As I mentioned in my second blog, the first book I ever read for myself was all about whales, and I started receiving Zoo Books shortly after. Until high school, my field of interest bounced back and forth between biology, geology, marine biology, volcanology, zoology, meteorology, and finally back to biology and ecology where I am now–well, marine ecology.

Yet even as I was fluttering between each phase of scientific interest, my writing was constantly in the background. My mom has whole boxes full of ridiculous books I wrote about: “Anna Lana” (I couldn’t spell Lanna, apparently, but I wanted it to rhyme), mermaids (ahh the originality), kid detectives (those were nail-biters), pilgrims (???), Peter Pan (he came for me, not Wendy; and actually, I don’t know that mom ever saw that), poachers getting eaten (ha! I guess I’ve always known what’s what), and all sorts of other things. The stories began tapering off somewhere around my junior year of high school in favor of poetry. I got the same satisfaction from finishing a poem as I did from finishing a story, and I could actually complete my poems whereas stories took a lot longer.

I think my writing is a lot like my tap dancing. It’s not something I will ever be great at, but it’s a cool little thing I can go back to every now and then to blow off stress. Actually, because I use my poems as an emotional outlet, some random person reading my them would probably think I’m bipolar because pretty much all of them are either crazy up-beat happy or depressing, angry, and ranting. Of course, when I was a kid, I was somewhat analogous Ralphie from A Christmas Story. I imagined that anyone who came across my work would have the same response as his teacher in his dream about her reading his theme on the Red Ryder BB gun. “Gasp! Poetry! Sheer poetry! A ++++++ applaud ++++++++”

Even today I wonder what might have happened if I had majored in English. Would I be like Brianna or Sarah? Suzanne Ashworth or Margaret Koehler? C.S. Lewis or Jan Berenstain? Hehe, I’m guessing it would be the latter, but with without the illustrations or words-of-wisdom insights.

I guess all this blathering comes from my sense of anxiety from wondering where I will end up after June 15th. Would my next step be clearer had I taken a different route? Instead of panicking over different graduate programs and an advisor willing to invest time and energy into me, what would I be doing? Probably the same thing in a different field, but who knows? Thank heavens God does. That makes One of us. Right now, I’m taking Michael W. Smith’s advice from his song “This is Your Time:”

This is your time,

This is your dance,

Live every moment,

Leave nothing to chance,

Swim in the sea,

Drink of the deep,

Embrace the mystery of all you can be.

I guess I just have to embrace away!

btw, does anyone else find it ironic that the spell check on this thing doesn’t recognize the word “blog”?

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Responses

  1. I glad that you didn’t end up in the english department, some how I don’t think they could use your talents.

    P.S. Thanks for the Birthday call. You will be happy to know that I haven’t been drinking it up…Yet

    Like

  2. I’ve also dreamed that someone would do the A+++++++ thing for me to. Not for poetry. lol But for something. I’m glad I’m not the only one who has ever thought that.

    Like

  3. I love /A Christmas Story/!!

    Don’t feel guilty for the parenthetical asides. Don’t you realize that our society is coming to that, what with /Choose Your Own Adventure/ books and all the links you can click on the internet? We’re all wanting to trail off down the rabbit hole. We all want the digression. And we can follow it, too, thanks to our training with all the options available on web pages. Don’t apologize for your tangents.

    Like


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